Upper Limits

Nepali girls closeupIn graduate school I learned about invisible loyalties. Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks write about the Upper Limits Problem in Conscious Loving. In recent years psychologists have been studying the happiness set point. These are all describing ways we can self-sabotage when we go outside our comfort zone.

I bumped into these last week. After sending about 100 emails to friends telling them about this blog, I hit the wall (briefly, happy to say!): I isolated, developed writers’ block, ate too much sugar, had major insomnia. After a few days I realized I had challenged my inner voice that says “who the h— do you think you are anyway?”

My inner child got a little scared, and she retreated. Once I “came to,” I reminded her that we are not doing this to answer that question with “I am Kathy, the fabulous blogger,” rather simply telling stories and sharing photos. We are doing this for our own pleasure, and there is no pressure. She calmed down, and I’m back on track.

Photo:  two confident, feisty, totally present Nepali girls I met in 1986 at a bus stop

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12 Responses to Upper Limits

  1. Constance says:

    Your stories have been lovely, the photos as well. Thanks for the reminder that the “Who the h*ll” question can happen to any of us at any time and that the “true” answer backs down that intruding voice.

  2. Shawna says:

    Kathy, this story made me cry. I loved it and that picture is the best!

  3. Shannon says:

    Thank you, again, for a true and timely page from your story. I love my Thursday morning read with you!

  4. Frances says:

    Look forward to the blog! Enjoy the stories, photos and just everything about it. Love the sharing about feelings too – an extremely valuable support between everyone since we all have times in our lives of discomfort about ourselves. ( eating too much sugar and having insomnia go hand in hand. Know this from many experiences ! Lol

  5. Trish says:

    Can you talk a little more about invisible loyalties? When I read you experienced upper limits I thought you were going to tell us how happy you were…

  6. Susan J. says:

    That was so honest and because it was, moving. The photo of the feisty little girls is one to remember – I could have pasted my face at that age over one of those confident little bodies – what happens (I’ve read a little of the lit., like Mary Pipher)? Thank you, Kathy.

    • Thanks, Susan. So many factors affect how we feel and develop and express ourselves (or not). But when we do see through the barriers, as we said this weekend at Donald’s retreats, we really are radiant and free. I sure see that in you!

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