In graduate school I learned about invisible loyalties. Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks write about the Upper Limits Problem in Conscious Loving. In recent years psychologists have been studying the happiness set point. These are all describing ways we can self-sabotage when we go outside our comfort zone.
I bumped into these last week. After sending about 100 emails to friends telling them about this blog, I hit the wall (briefly, happy to say!): I isolated, developed writers’ block, ate too much sugar, had major insomnia. After a few days I realized I had challenged my inner voice that says “who the h— do you think you are anyway?”
My inner child got a little scared, and she retreated. Once I “came to,” I reminded her that we are not doing this to answer that question with “I am Kathy, the fabulous blogger,” rather simply telling stories and sharing photos. We are doing this for our own pleasure, and there is no pressure. She calmed down, and I’m back on track.
Photo: two confident, feisty, totally present Nepali girls I met in 1986 at a bus stop